Nesting instincts


I wrote a column for SisterDivas magazine yesterday–a contemplative piece about the baby hummingbirds that graced my backyard garden a year ago.

Those beautiful little birds came to symbolize the seasons of joy and loss that followed. One of my sons fell in love, and the other one flew off to new adventures. I said final goodbyes to both my parents.

Last spring, my backyard was a safe haven for Mama Hummingbird and her tiny family. And now that the citrus trees have bloomed again, I find myself scanning the skies for their return. Tiny forms play tag in the sunshine—could one of them be her? And is that her fledgling’s silhouette I see in the silvery twilight?  

I’m also wondering what happened to the LJ friends who flocked around their computers, oohing and aahing over the tiny nest and hatchlings. The comments have fallen off on my entries, and I’m seeing far fewer posts by other people. Unless I’m mistaken, this is a common observation among bloggers overall. 

I’m always happy to see you–at your place or mine. But have some of our friends abandoned this virtual community, I wonder? And if so, where have they gone? I wish them safe and happy landings, but I can’t help feeling somewhat melancholy about this loss.

66 Comments

  1. Lovely post, Melodye.

    As to the dropoff, I’m seeing a similar thing in email groups as well. It feels like everybody is very busy. But I think in part it is also the emergence of Facebook and Twitter. Over the years I’ve been online, I’ve observed that people move from one forum to the next. In children’ writing, it was the Yellow Board and email lists then Verla’s then LJ and other blogging sites, then Facebook, and now it’s Twitter. The older forums don’t die out, but a certain percentage of people just move on.

    Also, for me personally, as my friends list got bigger, my comments became less frequent. It’s hard to comment daily on 200+ blog posts, though it wasn’t hard to do 20.

    • I suspected that Facebook and Twitter might be tugging some of my friends in new directions. Not that there’s anything wrong with that–nosiree! It’s just that…well, I miss ’em!

      I get what you mean about reading/commenting on so many entries. Much as we all want to, it’s hard to keep up!

    • I’m torn about Twitter, Lauren. I’m not sure I’m a bite-sized writer. Also…when I get a tiny sliver of communication from a friend, I find myself wanting more.

      Wondering…do you get distracted by the constant stream of tweets? I’m curious about that.

    • I love your entries–all that flitting to and fro, doing lots of fun stuff! I also love it when you’ve got time to stop and play in the sprinklers or hop around the yard with me. Birds of a feather and all that. 🙂

  4. I’m still around. I just returned from a short vacation.

    I think some people have gone over to the dark side–Facebook or Twitter. Other people may be busy with jobs, vacations, school or writing.

    • I think you’re right about people migrating to other social media. I’d like to say I’m adaptable, but I wonder if I’d get frustrated/annoyed by the contemporaneous (vs contemplative) format. For sure, I’d have trouble keeping my text to 140 characters or less! LOL!

      Hope your vacation was all you dreamed about–and more! 🙂

  5. I think to Facebook (which I’m on)and Twitter (which I’m not). I have to admit that I don’t care for FB. I want real posts, not one-liners about what people ate for breakfast. At least FB has like, pictures. I’m loathe to join Twitter because it seems like it would be everything I hate about FB and nothing I sorta lukewarm like.

    Sigh. I guess I’ve never been particularly band-wagony. Which means sometimes I sit in the quiet.

    • Maybe it’s a false choice: I suppose you don’t have to pick one over the other. But given the limited time I set aside for “playing” on the interwebs, I’d rather engage in “real” vs. “real-time” conversations. But viva la difference, right? Everybody’s got different communication styles. And for better and worse, at least we have more possibilities for interaction.

      *pulls up a chair and sits quietly and contemplatively with you*

  6. I bounce between LJ and FB. Facebook is where I have my “3-d friends” and keep up with family and local friends. LJ is still my safe place, my home where I can let everything (well, most of it) hang out. If I’ve been sparse here, I’ve been the same on FB; life’s just been a little overwhelming the last few months.

    Hummingbirds are beautiful. I hope your friends return!

    • “3-D” friends…oooh, I like that! 🙂

      It’s a pleasure to read your posts–and a real treat to see a comment on one of my own entries! Especially since I know how very busy you are!!

      I’ll bet you’re seeing lots of robins hopping around in the grass. Robins seem to me the ultimate harbinger of spring.

  8. I have noticed the drop-off too, and have chalked it up to life getting in the way (after fretting for a while that it was actually me and my boring posts scaring people off).

    I cannot get into Twitter, but I think everyone is right in saying lots of people are doing that now. I don’t even know what Twittering IS…I have a hard enough time keeping up with LJ and Facebook (and with Facebook, it’s strictly a Friends and Family thing…I don’t use it as a tool for making contacts).

    That said, I think everyone comes back home to the nest at one point or another, so I’m gonna keep on keeping on, both with writing and reading blogs.

    • Your posts are never boring! For me, they’re homey, funny, poignant, tasty slices of life!

      I know what Twitter is, but I don’t think it’s me. I’m too verbose, and too easily distracted. But lots of people seem to like it…Facebook, too. Gah, a girl could spend all day on social networking, couldn’t she? I can’t afford the time or energy, but other people seem quite able to work it into their days.

      Thanks for commenting. I’m so glad you’re here.

    • I think you’re right–in our private AND professional lives, we have so many distractions, private concerns, and professional projects.

      That said, I’m always glad to read your entries. You show me worlds beyond my own. And I appreciate when you comment on my entries, too. It’s so nice to feel connected.

  10. I definitely feel like I’ve tapered off a bit – with LJ in particular. New baby coming, more job stress, figuring out book publicity… it’s made it hard to keep up! I *have* been doing Facebook and Twitter more often lately. Are you on either of those? I still want to keep up!

    • I still want to keep up, too! Always and forever!!

      I’m not on Facebook or Twitter, either one. Gah, I sometimes feel like I’m living in the Dark Ages. And yet…the thought of spending even more time online seems overwhelming and (can I say it?) counterproductive. It’s a spider-silk thin line, isn’t it? I’d love to know how people manage.

      • I really have no idea how people do it. With the addition of Facebook and Twitter, I feel like I’m pretty much near my breaking point of how much online networking I can do. I would probably cut back, except I’m trying to figure out the best way to market my book, and these seem to be “must frequent” places, so…

        But at least Facebook and Twitter are easy to digest quickly – easier than reading/writing long blog posts.

        • I think that sense of immediacy (easy in, easy out) is what draws people to Facebook and Twitter.

          I’m not at the point where marketing is a key concern, but it’s sure interesting to think about. I read an article about Stephanie Meyer in the LA Times. It suggested she built her readership by blogging on topics people cared about–and by commenting on other people’s blogs. I’m not sure she would have built the same base by tweeting and posting to Facebook. What’s the magic formula for successful networking? I’m not sure anyone knows, but it’s fun to talk about, isn’t it?

          • Finding the right balance is key. As I get closer to publication, I think I’ll start to use my blog almost like an online magazine – more topic-oriented than friend-oriented. Then Twitter and Facebook can be more places to do the quick “here’s what’s happening in my life” posts for friends, family and any fans who care.

            Right now, though, it’s just a big mishmash. Eventually I’ll get more organized…

  11. I love(d) the hummingbird pictures. I remember telling you they would make a fanastic calendar or even a little coffee table book 🙂 I would still pay to see them again.

    Apparently FB and Twitter are the next hot thing. And life in general is becoming more stressful for folks. Plus summer is coming on and people are making plans. But I’m still here, getting busier but still trying to keep up with reading and appreciating the thoughtful posts. Good thoughts to all 🙂

    • I’m so glad that you’ve enjoyed the hummmingbird pictures as much as I have. I’ll happily send any or all of the photographs to you for free.

      I believe you’re right about life getting ever more complicated. I’m not sure how Facebook, Twitter, blogs, etc. fit inside that matrix. For me, it’s all about friendships–sharing ideas, celebrating together, and exploring life’s mysteries with one another. LiveJournal entries allow that in a way that short snippets probably cannot.

  12. I am less active on LJ than before but I am still here and I don’t miss a single post by any of my friends – even if I might get to them a day late or so. That’s why I keep my f-list slim I guess – I want to have time for my friends.

    • I love it that we live so far away…and yet, because of LiveJournal, we still managed to find one another! And even better, we got to meet up in person!

      LJ is magical that way.

  13. I’ve noticed it, too. I’m so out of the loop, though, that I didn’t even think Twitter or that other stuff. I was just thinking life is crazy-busy for lots of people right now.

    I love your hummingbirds and your posts, so please don’t you go away.

    • I wonder if all this crazy-business is part of a yearly cycle (spring cleaning, coming out of hybernation, etc), or if people are going about the business of life at an increasingly frenetic pace. And if so, why? Thinky question, I know, but I’m curious about the whatfors and whys.

      I’m not going anywhere, Tracy. I love it here, and I love being here with you!!! So don’t you go away, either! (Birds of a feather…)

  14. I am totally here, but swamped–and people are posting more–there are sometimes 2000 posts a day, so I am whizzing along trying to keep up.

    • 2000 posts a day? Lordy, you must need magic glasses to get through all that reading!

      Thanks for taking the time to comment–I’m always happy to see you here! And even when I’m not part of the discussion, I always learn so much from your entries.

      OH!! And congratulations again on your book launch!! Did you do anything special to celebrate?

  15. I was just thinking those pictures alone would be worth submitting to a magazine (and maybe the hummingbird story without the sad ending–just the egg-watch and hatching).

    A night school classmate said she has a hummingbird nest in her yard, and the mother returns to it every spring.

    • I don’t know where I’d submit the photos, but it’s so much fun to share them! I’m glad you enjoy them, too. 🙂

      The mama hummingbird abandoned last year’s nest. It’s been flattened by winds and rain. Perhaps she’s built another one nearby? I haven’t found one, but it makes my heart happy to think that she might have. 🙂

      • She might have. Maybe she just wasn’t satisfied with the last one. :>)

        I know there are nature magazines for kids, like Ranger Rick. Highlights likes nature pics and articles. I’m sure a google search could turn up adult magazines, too.

        Anyway, it was cool to have such an up-close look at the little wonders. :>)

  16. Well, it looks like it was as we suspected–life has gotten hectic for everyone, and Facebook and Twitter have taken over! That said, I do think Live Journal is different. It’s a place to really post our thoughts, not just random “Here’s what I’m doing” blurbs like on Facebook and Twitter. And I suspect many of our friends are like me–they skim Live Journal when they don’t have time and they really read Live Journal posts when they do have time, but often fail to comment simply out of time constraint or, let’s face it, the fatigue of the day that has taken over once we finally sit down to “surf!”

    Thanks, Melodye, for a great post–I’ve enjoyed reading the responses. And I STILL view my friends posts (especially yours) as my soul’s vanilla coffee. And even if I can’t respond because coherent thoughts have left my brain, I still carry those posts and sentiments through my day. So don’t stop posting, friends!

    • “my soul’s vanilla coffee…”

      Oh, that’s lovely. These moments of connection are meant to be savored, aren’t they? I feel so lucky when I have time to pull up a chair and enjoy a leisurely conversation.

      I’m so glad that we met–I credit LJ for that. And even better, that we get to meet up in person? That’s a real treat!!! Lucky me!!!

      • I agree with Cathy. When we have a post with meat on it, it goes here on LJ and many people read but don’t comment for a variety of reasons. FB is a place for people in the industry that I’m not quite chummy with but I can observe from affair. And through FB I can get a quick glance at what is happening with friends who DON’T blog.

        And of course I can play Lexulous (Scrabble) which is the main thing for me there.

        Twitter is an experiment for me right now in broadening my world.

  17. Not abandoned… but overwhelmed by work. I tend to post more on facebook right now, mainly because it’s shorter. But I will be back. Finished one job for the year, and another is winding down over the next week or so…
    Hope you get another nestful!! Such sweet babies…

    • I remember your to-do list from awhile back. Girl, I don’t know how you do it!!

      I’m always glad to see you, though. It makes me feel special when you stop by, especially since I know your time is super-limited. xo

      • I’m always glad to see your entries!!
        This summer is shaping up to be less chaotic than last.
        I hope.
        Would like to be around a little more– for everyone I care about!!

  18. The hummingbirds are so cute. I think the winter blahs had everyone dropping into slug mode as far as participation, but people will kick back in and find the LJ home again. I do love my Facebook though – so zippity-quick – which is probably where a lot of people traveled to. It’s like commercials vs. TV shows.

    • I think you’re right. It’s easier to lure people out of their deep slumbers when they’ve got a quick-and-easy forum in which to shake off those wintertime sleepies.

      Thanks for adding to the conversation. I’ve learned so much by reading everyone’s comments!

  19. Sounds like a wonderful article, Melodye. I heard on the radio last week that hummingbirds like to return to the exact same spot every year, so I’m hoping that proves true for yours. And I hope that your lj birds flock back, too. 🙂

    I do think it’s hard for people to keep up with everything. But newbie though I am, I do like the way that lj allows for deeper reflection and — it seems to me — connection. That’s worth a lot.

    • We have lots of hummingbirds in our yard again this year. That makes me very happy, but I’ll always feel nostalgic about Mama Hummingbird and her tiny little nest…

      Birds of a feather, you and I. I’m all about “deeper reflections and connections.” Life moves at such a frantic pace. I need time to sit, to breathe, to BE. And I enjoy hanging out with my friends. Touch-and-go landings have their place. But they’ll never replace leisurely conversations–at least, not for me.

  20. Well now there you go again. Posting another great post. How can we forget those cute humming birds? Their beginning and the time for them to leave the nest and fly away. When my son got me started in here I never thought I would like it. Boy was I wrong. I have met new friends and laughed with them as well as cried with them. I enjoy your post and your special way of tempting us with those tid bits of your book in progress. I still can’t wait until I can get my hands on my very own copy. Face book for me? I don’t think so. I like it just fine here. Now go check out my latest post. :0)

    • I’m so glad that Doc pulled you into the LJ community. You’re a fixture here now, and I’m glad. I can’t even remember what it was like before you arrived. You’re a Texas-sized treasure, PapaDan!

  21. I’m here still, Melodye! I’ve been hiding a bit because I’ve had a magical jump back into my novel and I’ve been holding my little writing time as sacred time. But LJ is such a special place, and your posts are always wonderful. Don’t disappear, my dear friend, and keep us posted on your feathered friends. 🙂

    • Oooh, magic on the manuscript front! I’m thrilled to hear that, Lorraine!!

      I honor the fact that you keep your writing time sacred. I love also that you extend that sincerity to your comments on LJ. Whenever I see your lotus flower icon, I feel a sense of peace and well-being. xoxo

  22. I’m still here, Miss Melodye. I’m most definitely not going anywhere. People like you are a rarity in this world and I’m thankful to call you a friend.

  24. I was thinking about those posts this weekend when my brother in law found a duck nest in a potted plant outside our apartment building. I can’t tell how many eggs are in there, but I am excited for when they hatch!

    • What luck! A duck!

      Sorry…I love that book title and decided I had to fit it in somehow. =:)

      I hope you’ll post pictures of the ducklings when they hatch.

  25. Awww, what a sweet picture. I’ve flocked over to Twitter as well–I like the fact that the tweets are short and for me, it’s a way to keep up with what my friends are doing, and it doesn’t take up as much time as LJ does.

    I have a lot of difficulty keeping up with LJ and FaceBook.

    Plus, we’ve sold our house and are moving to our new place on Wednesday, so you could say I’ve been busy. LOL!

    Hope your hummingbirds arrive soon!

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