Prank Contest Entry

If you believe the axiom “Idle hands are the Devil’s tools,” you’ll understand when I confess that the endless hours I spent in church pews and on the road to Revival with my evangelical father were breeding grounds for many a devilish prank. In honor of Robyn Schneider’s* BETTER THAN YESTERDAY Prank Contest, I’ll tell you one of my favorites.
 

We drove into Lake Charles, Louisiana on a sweltering summer day – several days beyond our last baths and hundreds of miles past our last meal. Around sundown, my father steered the car into the parking lot of a small, steepled church with a dilapidated sign advertising the Revival services planned for that evening. He went inside to partake of the church fellowship and Southern hospitality, leaving my mother and us six children – restless, grimy, hot and hungry – outside to fend for ourselves.

 

We took turns poking our heads inside the propped-open windows at the back of the church, hoping someone would notice us and wave us inside. Meanwhile, the pastor and my father took turns at the pulpit, whipping up the congregation with call-and-response admonitions to come to Jesus and denounce the Devil. The organist punctuated the high points of their sermon with her keyboard as the congregants raised their faces and hands to heaven, their voices to God.

 

Famished and cranky from having spent many long hours cooped up in tight quarters, we struggled mightily to behave. Those of us who were too short to peer over the windowsills swatted mosquitoes and punched each other for the slightest provocation. As sundown turned into twilight, we finally found a diversion: a swarm of frogs, croaking and hopping across the parking lot! With a wicked grin on her face, my mother scooped up a handful, dropping them through the window onto the church floor and motioning us to follow her example.  

 

Soon, several hundred frogs were making a joyful noise unto the Lord, hopping down the aisles and up the skirts of kneeling women. Worshippers, who’d been singing and dancing in the spirit only minutes before, now found themselves shouting and writhing in the aisles for an altogether different reason.  

 


Think you can compete with my story? If so, you should enter the contest yourself! The rules are simple: write a description of the best prank you ever pulled, or the best prank you ever wanted to pull,** post it in your blog along with the rules to this contest and email the link to robynschneider at yahoo dot com with the subject line “prank contest.” The contest is open NOW to US residents only and ends on February 5th at Noon EST. And yes, there are PRIZES!

 

*Full disclosure: Robyn’s my friend, but I’m confident that each contest entry will be judged on its own merits. Which, of course, means I’ll win.
**For the record: I don’t think you should be eligible unless you actually executed the idea, proving yourself clever and courageous in real life, not just in your own mind. Heh.

60 Comments

    • In her younger days, my mother was full of spit and vinegar. At first, that was part of my parents’ attraction to one another…eventually, though, I think her high spirits caused quite a bit of turmoil.

      Still thinking about the book, and I’m reading lots of books on the craft, to see if I can handle memoir-writing…Thanks for the vote of confidence!

      • Have you read my TV writing partner’s memoir All the Fishes Come Home to Roost? She teaches on memoir-writing, and has an LJ at –it really sounds like you’ve got the makings for a hot one! That’s an awesome story!

  2. Oh, HOORAY!!!!!!!!!!!!
    (my kids came running to see why I was laughting so hard)
    Your mom is AWESOME.
    And *shame* on him.
    Around here, they’d have asked you all in, and wondered with a capital W if you weren’t there!!
    That, my friend, is why the world needs your book.
    Well, OK, it’s one reason.
    😀

    • Oh, I’m glad it made you laugh! What a great way to start the week!

      My mom *was* awesome…until she wasn’t. Therein lies another whole element to my (potential) memoir.

    • Thanks for your vote of confidence!I’m seriously, seriously considering it. These toes-in-the-water blog entries are my way of experimenting with the idea.

  6. I am sorry that you were hungry. Shame on all who didn’t think to take care of you!
    What a fun mother! Great prank, great story, I think you win!

  7. I am sorry that you were hungry. Shame on all who didn’t think to take care of you!
    What a fun mother! Great prank, great story, I think you win!

    • Thanks, Tracy, for your very kind words. I’m trying with these snippets to see if I’ve got the tone, stories , and staying power to sustain a book-length memoir. I’m beginning to think maybe, just maybe I do.

    • Thanks, Tracy, for your very kind words. I’m trying with these snippets to see if I’ve got the tone, stories , and staying power to sustain a book-length memoir. I’m beginning to think maybe, just maybe I do.

  13. Great story! If you are up to it emotionally, you should definately write a memoir. And, yes, to your earlier question about Sarraute. It’s “Childhood.”

    I’m not going to enter the contest, but I will share with you and your lj readers that on a dare I once showed up naked at the doorstep (I went to boarding school) of a hated teacher (female) faking constipation and asking for prune juice. The look on her face was so worth it. No, I did not get in trouble, and, yes, my friends were impressed. What’s funny is that I’m actually a pretty reserved person who rarely to never engages in pranks. I really loathed that teacher.

    • Thanks for the resource, and thank you especially for your vote of confidence. I’m leaning more and more in that direction… 🙂

      HA HA HA HA HA!!!! Your prank’s just perfect! You should totally enter the competition. I’d happily take second place to a story like yours!

  14. Great story! If you are up to it emotionally, you should definately write a memoir. And, yes, to your earlier question about Sarraute. It’s “Childhood.”

    I’m not going to enter the contest, but I will share with you and your lj readers that on a dare I once showed up naked at the doorstep (I went to boarding school) of a hated teacher (female) faking constipation and asking for prune juice. The look on her face was so worth it. No, I did not get in trouble, and, yes, my friends were impressed. What’s funny is that I’m actually a pretty reserved person who rarely to never engages in pranks. I really loathed that teacher.

  15. I’m not so sure she was as much playful as vindictive, but the results may have been the same either way.

    Unlike you, I have trouble making up/writing good novels. I write nonfiction precisely because I’m that lame…fortunately (or not), some of my childhood stories rival fiction.

  16. I’ve never put these words together: What a poignant prank!

    I just felt for all of you and then laughed outloud. Coming from an aggie family, we developed a wicked (and I mean that literally) sense of humor because humor got us through so many peculiar hardships.

    BTW: I’m the youngest of 6 – where are you in the line-up?

    • Awww, thanks for your compassion. It was a long time ago, though I do remember it vividly. I’m glad you laughed in the end.

      One daughter followed after this event happened, making me the bologna/middle of the sandwich of seven children. I was number 5 — counting only the ones we actually lived with, that is. Heh.

    • Awww, thanks for your compassion. It was a long time ago, though I do remember it vividly. I’m glad you laughed in the end.

      One daughter followed after this event happened, making me the bologna/middle of the sandwich of seven children. I was number 5 — counting only the ones we actually lived with, that is. Heh.

  17. I’ve never put these words together: What a poignant prank!

    I just felt for all of you and then laughed outloud. Coming from an aggie family, we developed a wicked (and I mean that literally) sense of humor because humor got us through so many peculiar hardships.

    BTW: I’m the youngest of 6 – where are you in the line-up?

  18. Oh man, now that’s just evil. Evil and yet, oh so beautiful. LOL… Your mother is a bad, bad woman for inciting you children like that. Awesome. LOL….

  19. Oh man, now that’s just evil. Evil and yet, oh so beautiful. LOL… Your mother is a bad, bad woman for inciting you children like that. Awesome. LOL….

  20. Oh how funny. A great prank. Your Mom sounds just like my Mom. You have just got to put all of that in print for future generations to read and laugh.
    Pranks that I have played. None… if you believe that, hold your breath for an hour. I promise you I will post some of them on my site before long. I have been accused of already doing that under the name of Bubba and Little Bubba and Uncle Joe but I promise you that wasn’t about me.

    • I’m seriously, seriously thinking about the memoir, PapaDan…and I’m reading books on memoir-writing to help me make the decision about whether it’s something I want to/can do.

      You totally need to write up a prank for this contest! Frankly, I think you’d win, hands-down. Do it for yourself and your blog fans (incl. me), and give the prizes to your grandkids if you don’t want them for yourself. Did you see the deadline? Make sure you don’t miss it!!

  21. Oh, I love this story, Melodye! Now you know we’re all waiting for more, don’t you?!

    I wasn’t much of a prankster–but adventures…hoo boy, we had lots of crazy adventures. 😀

    • We didn’t do a lot of pranks, either, but like you and your family, we had TONS of crazy (in all senses of that word) adventures!

      All this encouragement really has gotten me to the point where I’m *SERIOUSLY* considering a memoir! Thank you so much for your support. 🙂

  22. What a wonderful story, and what a gift you showed in telling it! Melodye, take my word for it, this memoir is a book just waiting to happen. It HAS TO BE. I love it already.
    I have lots of pranks but sadly I am not American! (but anyway, nothing to comete with this one)

    • I *do* take your word for it, Sharon. Your experienced perspective and our friendship tell me that you’re being honest about this. I very much appreciate your encouragement, and I’m thisclose to deciding to actually write it.

      I wish you could enter the contest. I’d love to hear one of your pranks!

  23. What a wonderful story, and what a gift you showed in telling it! Melodye, take my word for it, this memoir is a book just waiting to happen. It HAS TO BE. I love it already.
    I have lots of pranks but sadly I am not American! (but anyway, nothing to comete with this one)

  24. Melodye, this is wicked and wild and bizarre all at once. I love that your mother took matters into her own hands. Was she indifferent to the preaching or did she believe in what your father was doing?

    I didn’t see this until 2:30 AM Tues overnight/Wed AM and while I see now you placed in the Prank Contest, hands down I think yours is the most well-written and best-laid prank of mice and men. ;>

    I am going to have to talk to you one -on- one about your writing plans. You keep saying memoir and I keep thinking MG/YA novel….

    Love,
    The Devil/Editor on your Shoulder,
    Pamela {{{}}

    • “wicked and wild and bizarre all at once” is a great way to describe elements of my childhood. About my mother…that’s another post (or a memoir chapter) altogether!

      Thanks for your ever-faithful support of my writing, Pamela. Those words mean a lot, coming from you. I really would very much like to talk with you about writing!!! On the phone, sometime soon?

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    • Melodye Shore

      Ha! Never hurts to throw a little devilish prank into the mix. I was prone to church giggles, though, so when temptation struck, it was hard for me to keep a straight face.

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