Friday Five: Sentimental Journey

I catch glimpses of my Nana's sensibilities (and sentimentalities) in myself, more and more every day. How so, you ask? I offer you five examples:

1. A couple of days ago, this pair of mallards landed in our yard. I'm not sure what they were looking for–the closest water source is my neighbor's pool (although there's a stream bed a few blocks away). Anyway, after strolling through my new rose bed, they ambled across the road. 

Along came an SUV, barreling toward both ducks. I flapped my arms and shouted, "Ducks! Watch out!" The driver screeched to a stop. He slouched in his seat, likely at the thought of the narrowly-averted tragedy. Or maybe he was frightened by the wild-eyed woman who waved him down?  I swan, I just about had a heart attack myself, right then and there.The ducks? They kept right on waddling, utterly nonplussed…

2. The yard into which the ducks shuffled next belonged to my dearly departed neighbor. Jan's front yard's a shambles now, but it used to be a caliope of roses, hibiscus, and gardenias–the pride and joy of the entire neighborhood. She tended her flowers every morning and evening…until she couldn't any longer. The house sold quickly, and the new owners just moved in. A young couple, really nice. But because they have a toddler, they plan to remove all the landscaping out front…sooner than later, as finances permit. 

We understand their reasoning, but the entire neighborhood has once again fallen into grief. We loved Jan's flowers as much as she did, and are anguished to think that her beloved rose beds–her legacy–will disappear without a trace. So when our new neighbors offered me as many roses as I wanted to take, I seized the opportunity.

I struggled mightily with the larger ones, but the thorns were too sharp, the roots too stubborn. Still, I managed to dig up three mid-sized bushes all by myself, and transplanted them into a flower bed in my backyard. I'm wishing on imaginary dandelion puffs now, like Nana taught me long ago. I'm so hoping that they'll make it!!

3. Good news: our orioles are back! And you know what that means, right? TIme to buy some more grape jelly! Nana would've loved to watch them flit from tree to tree. Knowing her, she'd probably sneak an extra pinch of sugar into the nectar while it's cooking…


I took this photo last year. I'll try for a better shot this spring/summer.

4. I'm reading WRITING PAST DARK: Envy, Fear, Distractions, and Other Dilemmas in the Writer's Life. (I wish I could remember who it was that mentioned this wonderful book on their blog, so I could thank them properly!) Bonnie Friedman's an amazing writer, and though I'm reluctant to single out any one chapter, I confess to tearing up while reading, "Your Mother's Passions, Your Sister's Woes: Writing About the Living." Just like my Nana, Ms. Friedman illustrates Truth With story. I love that kind of writing, don't you?

5. One by one, my longtime LiveJournal friends are leaving for greener pastures. I mourn the loss of everyone who leaves us, feel sad when their moving trucks rumble down the street. Nothing is permanent, but LJ felt less transient than most blog platforms…until it didn't. And if I weren't so attached to this place, if I weren't so reluctant to learn all I need to make the shift myself, I'd probably be digging up my own rosebeds about now. But I can't bring myself to do that–not yet, anyway.

Instead, I cling tight to my belief that, despite any temporary transplant shock, the friendships we've cultivated here will survive–and thrive. Here I am again, blowing dandelion wishes into the wind. But as my Nana used to say, "If wishes were horses, then beggars would ride." So I'm also thinking about what I might do to help smooth these transitions.  The odds are better, I've found, when I choose action over chance.

50 Comments

  2. We don’t often get ducks, but geese stop traffic on a regular basis (and in our neighborhood, so do the deer).

    I’m also sad to see good friends moving…but I have no plans to uproot anytime soon (if at all).

    • We’re not all that familiar with wildlife sightings here, so the mallards are a show-stopper, that’s for sure. I have to check behind the wheels of my car before backing out now, on the off-chance they’re napping in my driveway.

  3. Oh, I am so sorry about the neighbor and her garden. Very glad you got some of her roses. Hope they thrive.

    I will be here until no one is here. I really hate Facebook.

  4. I like FB, but it’s like wading into shallow water when I’d rather swim. The surroundings here feel warmer, deeper, and more comforting. Sometimes I can even see the bottom πŸ™‚ I don’t post anymore – as you said, so many of my friends have moved on – but I still visit the old haunts, hoping to catch a glimpse of whoever is left, like fireflies in the dark.

    Thank you for saving the ducks, and for transplanting the roses. It’s good to know some of your neighbor’s love remains.

      • It’s an apt metaphor, perfectly suited for Facebook!!! Sad to say, though, I’m afraid of deep water. But hey, I like food, so I’ll say Facebook is like one of those bite-sized appetizers they serve at restaurants these days (amuse bouche, I think they call ’em)..they tantalize the senses, but leave you hungry for more.

        And as for the roses and ducks…I’m a sentimental sap, what can I say? πŸ™‚

  5. I’m so glad you’re here, Melodye. I’m staying for sure. WordPress is fancier, but it’s rather lonely over there.

    And I can just see you running out saving the ducks! Bet that driver will think twice about barreling down your street…or maybe even about driving down it at all. πŸ˜‰

    • I can’t imagine LJ without you, Lorraine. And I can’t imagine blogging anywhere else. I need sustained conversation & true companionship, the likes of which you can’t find on other blogging platforms.

      When I told my son the story about the ducks, he said he pictured me flapping my arms and apron, ala Olive Oyl. Not that I look like her in any way, but I got a kick out of that image.

  6. I always feel a sense of peace when I read your blog. And oh, the pride you must have felt to move those rose bushes into your yard! Not an easy task!!! I’ve unfortunately not been reading my favorite LJ blogs on a daily basis like I used to (busy toddler has first dibs on my time these days) but I do hope it stays around and am sad to see less and less posts. Thank you for all that you share with your readers πŸ™‚

    • Wow, I feel as if you’ve just handed me a gigantic bouquet of roses!! Thanks so very much for your sweet comments.

      I get a whole host of blessings from reading my friends’ posts here (yours included!). And while I understand that life gets busy sometimes, and that there’s an ebb and flow to blogging, I seriously don’t know what I’d do if everyone moved away!!

  7. 5. I too will always be on LJ. Did you ever read The Empty Schoolhouse? It’s what I think of all the time when I think of LJ: that I’ll be like the main character in that, going to school all alone, so long as the school’s open and the teacher’s there.

    But we won’t be alone! It won’t be the same as it has been, but it’ll still be here. And it will continue to be nice… just smaller, and less active.

    4. Envy is something I’d ceased to experience until I went back to writing. It caused some self-reflection, for sure, having old, dark emotions awoken. I realized that in part, my previous lack of envy had been from not *wanting* anything very much. Harder not to feel envy when you have that terrible gripping desire! … Since then, I’ve managed mainly to get away from envy, I guess mainly by changing how I look at success and the business of trying to get published.

    3. *Wonderful* about the orioles. They are among my favorite birds.

    2. This happened across the street from my father, too… it’s so sad, even when, as you say, you do understand why it is that the family can’t continue the garden. I’m glad you were able to salvage some roses.

    1. (This made me smile all through)

    • I haven’t read THE EMPTY SCHOOLHOUSE, but wow, it sounds interesting! And sort of sad. I’m loyal to a fault, and while I don’t always post regularly (Life interferes sometimes, lol), I keep tabs on everyone here, and always come back. There’s so much to like about LJ, even during its ost turbulent periods.

      The parts in that book that appeal to me most have to do with Fear and Distractions, both of which are nemeses to sustained writing progress. Can I get a witness?

      I posted pictures of the mallards on Wednesday. Apparently they’ve decided to reward my Wild Woman performance by taking up residence in my front yard & driveway.

  8. I’m rooted pretty deeply here, too, Melodye. Maybe someday I’ll switch, but the prospect doesn’t appeal to me, not when I have such good friends here. Not to mention beautiful posts like this one. I love that you’re trying to save those roses. We’ve done the same on several occasions, and just about always the plantings survive. I hope yours endure, too. And I’m making a note to myself to check out WRITING PAST DARK.

    • I think you’d really like WRITING PAST DARK. It’s a slim volume, and definitely not a how-to, craft-related book, but it’s chock full of fresh perspectives that invite you to consider new ways of being.

      And…as I mentioned above, the roses seem to be acclimating themselves to their new surroundings. I hope I’m not jinxing them by saying that!!

  9. Those crazy, crazy, crazy ducks!!! Good on you for looking out for them!!! I’m so glad they didn’t get turned into road pate!!!!

    I’m so glad that you have a little piece of your friend and I really do hope that the roses make it. I’m sure under your tender loving care that they will! You just have a knack for making things grow and flourish… plants and people alike. πŸ™‚

    I’m not as noisy and rowdy as I have been in the past but I certainly have no intentions of leaving LJ. I love it here. This is my home. They’ll have to cart my dead body out of here before they’ll get me to leave.

    • Ha ha ha–road pate! Only you, Kevin, only you!!

      Your humorous, irreverent and sincere outlook on things…our friendship key factors in my decision to stay in the LJ ‘hood.

  10. I would have done the same with the ducks, for sure!

    I also consider changing platforms – in fact I made a google web page…but I hate change. And I like it here πŸ˜‰

    • Aside from the crazy spamming LJ’s sometimes subject to, I like blogging here best! And I love that, while we don’t live in the same geographic area, we’ve found ourselves in the same LJ neighborhood. *feeling all Mr. Rogers about that*

  11. I’m not fond of change either, and I view it as a personal tragedy when any trees in our neighborhood get cut down.

    Roses are usually pretty tough. Transplanting at this time of year mostly requires keeping them well watered, I think–at least that’s true of trees. We transplanted a rose and it’s growing like it’s on steroids.

    I’m still hanging around LJ. I mirror on Blogger, and that’s working well for me; I feel like each blog is a backup for the other, and I enlarged my circle rather than having to choose one or the other (or shutting out any readers who just want to stay at LJ). But I prefer LJ’s setup and features.

    • I’m speaking in whispers here, so as not to jinx those newly transplanted roses, but I do believe they’re going to make it, yay! A few stems wilted straightaway, but here it is, one week later, and for the most part, they look healthy.

      I should see if WordPress offers the option of mirrored blogging. I do like your perspective about widening the circle, instead of leaving one platform altogether…

  14. I am not leaving LJ, I just don’t have enough time to post as regularly anymore!

    I can’t wait to see pics of the roses! have you asked the neighbors to give you the others as they dig them up?

    • I’ve offered to tend them until the neighbors finally decide to rip them out. In that way, we’ll all get to enjoy them…the only cost, really, is my time, but I’d get to enjoy them while they’re in bloom.

      (Glad to see you here!! I miss seeing your posts & always enjoy seeing pictures of your adorable little boy…)

  15. LJ is still my favorite social networking platform. I’m sticking around to turn out the lights if I have to!

    Glad you were able to rescue a little of the neighbor’s garden. I sympathize with the young couple who don’t want to deal with it, having bought a house with a fair amount of things to prune and tend that I haven’t a clue what to do with (although at least I don’t have a toddler, so I will try and figure it out!)… but that would be a loss for the neighborhood. I love it when people have gardens.

    • I’ll stick around with you ’til closing time, lol. I like it here best of all.

      Oh, and I do think the neighbors had no idea just how much Jan’s garden meant to all of us. They were/are likely overwhelmed by the amount of work it represents. And I also know firsthand just how hard it is to find time for gardening, especially when you’ve got competing priorities. Hands down, family comes first!

  16. Lovely ducks, lovely you. I also liked Bonnie Friedman’s book, though I’m not the one who mentioned it.

    I hate change. It took me a while to start the wordpress blog (as I also hate the spam and stickiness I too often find here). But you’re right, it’s not the same, and I’ll keep reading my friend’s list here when I finally stop cross-posting. i do hold you and other friends I’ve made here very close in my heart, and those feelings aren’t dandelion fluff: they won’t change.

    • those feelings aren’t dandelion fluff: they won’t change.

      Beautiful words, from a beautiful heart.

      Does WordPress offer the option of mirroring your blog here on LJ? Someone above (WriterJenn) mentioned that they do that with Blogger to help widen the circle of readers…it’d be nice, if that were the case.

      • Hi, thanks, Melodye.

        As far as I know, neither blogger nor wordpress or anything offers a way to automatically mirror to LJ. I basically, and I believe Jenn does this too, cut and paste. It’s worth the trouble for now to keep up with the beautiful and nurturing comments I get from friends here, but at some point, when LJ makes me wrestle too much, I probably will stop and hope that friends here will follow me there; I do plan to keep my subscription to LJ, as I do love scrolling through my friends list!

        • I’ll have to see how copy/paste works for me, because I really do worry about LJ’s wobbly performance of late. I don’t want to risk losing everything. And then there’s the spam…

          On a related note, while I don’t always remember to check Blogger and WordPress, my strongest motivation for joining Facebook is that, if/when people leave the LJ community, they oftentimes post links to their newest blog entries there.

    • Good plan! We’ll keep posting on LJ ’til the cows come home. πŸ™‚

      I’ll enjoy seeing more entries from you, as Life allows you the time & opportunity. xo

  19. Yeah, I think everyone’s going through an ebb tide, with regards to posting. But I like knowing our friends are “out there,” even when we don’t connect.

  20. LJ does have a lot of nice features. And I love the community. (But I rarely post here anymore–couldn’t get on it in China.) I’ve had problems logging on and posting successfully, even this past year. At a certain point, after a three times or so of it not working in a row, I decided to wait for awhile before posting again. (Though I still read posts from those I’m friends with through my reader; a program that pulls in the posts–that I set up before I got to China.)
    I realize it may be my location.

    I should try again and copy and cross post from my blogger account. (But those are more professional blog posts, not the comfortable chat type of posts that we have here.)

    Also, to be honest: I was gone for that year from LJ which was sad and touch, and luckily I kept in some contact with you and a few others, but . . . well, I felt a bit forgotten. The out of sight out of mind type of thing, I guess. (Not with you, of course.)

    I’ll work at posting again, occasionally. It looks like it’s letting me comment (hurray!) and so I believe their system is improved.
    ~Sarah

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  25. Anonymous

    I love that you tried again — so true about wishing something into being, though!

    I dreamed of you last night. You’d made a video of your sons, both when they were young and today. Your video flashed back to them playing soccer as elementary school kids (focusing on their laughing smiles) and then surged forward to ‘today,’ when they were having brunch with you and sharing those same smiles. (It was a poignant dream…)

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