DEAR BULLY: A memorable experience

Memoirists are sometimes asked how it is that we’re able to recall, with sensory details, our long-ago experiences. Rightly so, and here I must confess: While I clearly remember many childhood experiences, I sometimes lose track of things that happened a few months days minutes ago! (What was it that brought me downstairs just now? And hmmm, I seem to have misplaced my coffee cup again!) 

Without wading into the psycho-pathology (I’m certainly no expert), I’d venture to say that most long-term memories are shaped by these circumstances:

  1. Emotional Impact. The event is so harrowing…so powerful and gritty that it’s permanently sandblasted into your brain. (Think: 9/11, or the Civil Rights protests of the 60s.)
  2. Repetition & reinforcement. I have lots of siblings, with whom my own story intersects. We bore witness to the same events, and have talked about them many times since. Sure, we might quarrel about minor details. But when it comes to the underlying truths, we’re usually on the same page.
  3. Sensory Impressions. Memories are sometimes paired with physical sensations (aromas, sights and sounds, touch and taste), which help serve as triggers for later recall.  (Rose-fragranced hand lotion, for instance, reminds me of my Nana, as do dandelion puffs and crocheted afghans.) 
  4. Wish fulfillment. The experience is positive, and somehow related to your wildest aspirations and your most fervent dreams. (Who among us can’t remember their first kiss?)

Now to a more recent example: I’ll always remember the exact moment I learned that my personal essay, Luz, was going to be published in DEAR BULLY: 70 Authors Tell Their Stories. I was checking my email– a steaming mug of vanilla-nut coffee in hand–when the good news arrived in my inbox. And lord knows, I’ve repeated the story many times over since then. Enough so that I’m willing to bet that friends and family have memorized it, word for word. 

More grist for the memory mill: DEAR BULLY was featured in the February issue of Glamour magazine. And this past Monday, we got our pages for final proofing. LOL, I couldn’t edit the thing to save my life! Instead, I found myself staring at the formatted pages, a silly grin plastered across my face. Seeing the dimensions of the book itself…the typeface, the page numbers..whoa, unforgettable! The reality (the magic!) is finally hitting home.

And then today, we received an updated publication date (Aug 23, 2011), table of contents, and book cover. And even though they’ve already created an indelible impression in my own mind, I decided to post them here. Because I suspect I’m not the only contributor who’s hoping (and perhaps praying) that this anthology will shower its eventual audience with love and light, hope and joy. 
 


TABLE OF CONTENTS

Dear Bully

Dear Bully by Laurie Faria Stolarz
Love Letter to My Bully by Tonya Hurley
Dear Audrey by Courtney Sheinmel
Slammed by Marlene Perez
My Apology by Marina Cohen
Dear Samantha by Kieran Scott 
 

Just Kidding

Stench by Jon Scieszka
What I Wanted to Tell You by Melissa Schorr
Subtle Bullying by Rachel Vail

Hiding Me by R. A. Nelson
Midsummer’s Nightmare by Holly Cupala
BFFBOTT.COM by Lisa McMann
The Innocent Bully by Linda Gerber
The Secret by Heather Brewer
The Funny Guy by R. L. Stine 
 

Survival

A List by Micol Ostow
There’s a Light by Saundra Mitchell
The Soundtrack to My Survival by Stephanie Kuehnert
If Mean Froze by Carrie Jones
Abuse by Lucienne Diver
The Boy Who Won’t Leave Me Alone by A. S. King
That Deep Alone by Lise Haines
break my heart by Megan Kelley Hall
End of the World by Jessica Brody
Girl Wars by Crissa-Jean Chappell
The Curtain by Deborah Kerbel
 

Regret

The Eulogy of Ivy O’Conner by Sophie Jordan
Regret by Lisa Yee
Karen by Nancy Werlin
Surviving Alfalfa by Teri Brown
When I Was a Bully, Too by Melissa Walker
Carol by Amy Koss
Never Shut Up by Kiersten White
The Day I Followed by Eric Luper 
 

Thank You, Friends

The Alphabet by Laura Kasischke
They Made Me Do It and I’m Sorry by Cecil Castellucci
Simplehero by Debbie Rigaud
Isolation by Cynthia Leitich Smith
Luz by Melodye Shore [Meep! That’s me!]
Dear Caroline from Canada by Carrie Ryan
The Blue-Eyed Girl by Jocelyn Maeve Kelley
Frenemies Are Not Friends by Michelle Zink
 

Insight

The Other Side by Nancy Holder 
Can We Make This Letter Disappear? by Sara Bennett Wealer
Bully on the Ledge by Kurtis Scaletta
Informed Consent by Lara Zeises
Silent All These Years by Alyson Noël 
Now and Then by Aprilynne Pike
Strangers on a Street by Diana Rodriguez Wallach
Objects in Mirror are More Complex Than They Appear by Lauren Oliver
 

Speak

Levels by Tanya Lee Stone
Slivers of Purple Paper by Cyn Balog
The Sound of Silence by Claudia Gabel
Starship Suburbia by Maryrose Wood
Kicking Stones at the Sun by Jo Knowles
Memory Videos by Nancy Garden
Finding Light in the Darkness by Lisa Schroeder

 

Write It

The Sandwich Fight by Steven Wedel

Fearless by Jeannine Garsee
Without Armor by Daniel Waters
The Seed by Lauren Kate
 

It Gets Better

Now by Amy Reed
Standing Tall by Dawn Metcalf
The Superdork of the Fifth-Grade Class of 1989 by Kristin Harmel
“Who Gives the Popular People Power? Who???” by Megan McCafferty
“That Kid” by Janni Lee Simner
This Is Me by Erin Dionne
Bullies for Me by Mo Willems
To Carolyn Mackler, From Elizabeth in IL
Dear Elizabeth by Carolyn Mackler
 

Resources for Teens
Resources for Educators and Parents  

Contributors 

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32 Comments

  1. SO exciting! It’s sad, isn’t it, that mean things that are said or done to us as children last for a lifetime? I can remember every single time I was picked on (we moved like a billion times growing up so I was always the new kid), but I really have to think hard to recall the times someone said something great to me. I’m sure this book will mean so much to so many people.

    • If we realized the long-term impact of our words and deeds, I feel certain we’d choose our words & actions much more carefully. I was blessed to know Luz, whose kindesses I’ll never forget. So…it’s a pleasure to introduce her to the world, in hopes that her generous spirit will help inspire the same in others.

  4. This is awesome!!! I’m so thrilled for you, Melodye. It’s unfortunate that this experience had to happen to you to begin with but I’m so happy to see you turning it into something positive to help others. You really are an inspiration and deserve all of the success and accolades that come your way, my friend. Congratulations! *HUGS*

    • Thanks so much, Kevin. *hugs you back*

      There’s usually an upside to every (mis)adventure, and mine wasn’t any different. I never forgot Luz’s kindnesses, and am grateful for this opportunity to share her Light with others.

  5. Thanks for sharing this! And congrats again. We enjoy celebrating this with you every step of the way. Those other contributors are in very good company.

    Now, get your little self over to my blog! It’s important!

    • You’re a source of inspiration for me, and I’m grateful for your support. As I mentioned up-thread, I’m feeling a bit like a minnow, swimming in a sea of giant fishes. 🙂

      And THANK YOU (and Winchester) for the happy surprise you’ve posted to your blog!! =:)

  7. Wow, what a line-up! Looks like a powerful collection of important and far-reaching essays. So exciting to see your name listed :). Thanks for sharing!

    • I like that they’ve divided the essays into categories. And I love that “Luz” is included in the section called “Thank You, Friends.” That speaks to the heart of the story…to my very soul, in fact. 🙂

    • Thank you, P! Luz was a source of light to me, and it’s my humble prayer that her–our–story will offer a glimmer of light to others who might be faced with similar situations.

    • ((Sara!!) Not in my wildest imagination! But I’m thrilled to be part of this anthology, and to have my name appear alongside talented writers such as you.

  13. This is a good post. I find myself wondering how many past tormentors of the included authors will recognize themselves in this book. You know how, as a kid, we always think, “when I get rich and famous, they’ll be sorry!” A publication like this is sort of the ultimate form of payback, don’t you think?

    Congrats on the pub! *huggles*

    • Thanks for your thoughtful, supportive comments! *hugs you back*

      Y’know, I may be alone in this, but I don’t remember wishing for revenge. I was so deeply embroiled in my day-to-day survival needs that I didn’t have time, I guess. And when friends like Luz came my way…well! They brightened my life considerably. So I’m glad for this opportunity to shine the spotlight on Luz, the girl who rescued me and gave me hope.

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