When Coral was 16 years old, my father buzzed the back of her head with hairclippers, leaving her with a bald stripe up the middle of her beautiful red curls. I don’t know what possessed him to do that, and I don’t know why he laughed so cruelly aftward, admiring his handiwork as she wept. But I know you won’t be surprised when I tell you that was a watershed moment for my oldest sister. She vowed then and there that she’d never let him near her hair, ever again.
Even as a grown-up, she refused to get a haircut, though from time to time, she talked about getting a few inches trimmed from the bottom. She’d lament the fact that it wasn’t stylish. People teased her about it, which made her sad. In fits of frustration, she sometimes took up the scissors herself, but she never let go of its length. Much like Sampson in the Bible, she drew a mysterious strength from her long locks, and she wouldn’t allow anyone else to touch them.
Until this year, on Christmas Eve. By some miracle, Coral agreed to a mini-makeover, as an early Christmas gift. And by some miracle, my hairdresser’s last appointment of the day became available. And so it was that Coral finally decided to shed her past, decades after that painful incident.
As we drove to the salon, Coral was animated…moreso than I’d seen in a while. She said she was excited, but even so, I sensed an undercurrent of fear. These are her "before" pictures, taken right before her haircut. (She’d already lopped off about 5 inches with her kitchen shears, in a midnight fit of frustration.)
As soon as Coral settled into Deborah’s salon chair, she folded in on herself, frightened eyes peeking out through a wall of hair. My hairdresser suspected that would be the case, as (with Coral’s approval) I’d given her a brief overview of my sister’s harrowing experience. So she moved very slowly and deliberately, locking eyes with Coral in the mirror. She asked lots of questions, offered many reassurances. She was protective, loving, and gentle…in short, a guardian angel.
Little by little, Coral’s beautiful face emerged from behind the heavy curtain of hair. And as the weight fell away, she straightened in her chair. Here’s her "after" pictures. Beautiful, isn’t she?
It’s not too long, but not too short…just right for her, right now. And I have to say, those curls are enviable. J Deborah showed her a few ways to style it, which Coral loved, but finger styling’s probably going to suit her lifestyle best.
As I was settling up the bill, Coral kept smiling at herself in the mirror, turning her head this way and that, in order to see herself from all angles. Her shoulders were relaxed, and she looked squarely into the mirror. Her eyes gleamed, and she was beaming.
Deborah swept an enormous pile of hair into her dustpan. “Begone,” Coral said, with a dismissive wave of her hand, and her happiness was palpable.
“How do you feel?” I asked, even though the answer seemed obvious.
But I hadn’t expected her to say this…
“Powerful.”
That’s when I turned away, all misty-eyed, swallowing hard around the lump in my throat.
A wise man once suggested that gift-giving blesses the giver and the recipient, both. Amen to that, and here’s my witness.
lovely!
She has gorgeous curls! I am glad she found her power. And you, you are a treasured witness!
xoxo
Re: lovely!
I’m so happy for her! She was smiling at her reflection all weekend long.
What a wonderful story. Congratulations to Coral for taking a brave step forward, and to you for helping. Coral looks great!
I celebrate Coral’s courage…she’d talked about cutting her hair for such a long time! Better yet: she feels great about having done it, and it shows. I’m smiling with her. 🙂
Wow. Great story — and Carol IS BEAUTIFUL!
Right you are! Coral’s beautiful, and her light is shining ever brighter. 🙂
This is a beautiful story, Melodye. You have such a wonderful way of drawing us in. Thank you for sharing Coral’s story with us… it’s absolutely gorgeous. As is her hair. 🙂
Thanks, Kevin! The story wrote itself, really…I just put it into words. I’m so proud of Coral’s courage, and am very happy that she feels rewarded for her bravery. Her eyes are sparkling with inner joy.
and all the people said, amen!
I have learned over the last few years that it is indeed in the act of giving where we are most blessed.
So true! I’m still glowing inside. And better still, Coral’s smile never left her face all weekend…she’s absolutely radiant.
She looks beautiful! And powerful. What a wonderful gift!
I just love the way her eyes sparkle in the “after” photographs. And the way she points at her hair…as if to say, “Look at me! I did it!” 🙂
She looks awesome! Congratulations to her for taking such a bold step.
Yay for Coral!
If she hadn’t wanted to do it, I wouldn’t have forced her (of course!). But all it took was a teensy tiny nudge. She was ready.
What a wonderful gift you gave to her and allowed us to share.
I can understand Coral’s unwillingness to let go of her hair. I am the same way though I can’t peg it to a horrible experience such as hers.
Perhaps one day I will be as strong.
Happy only slightly belated holidays, my friend.
Hair length/color/style is a very personal thing…If you’re happy with the way you wear it, so be it. It’s lovely!
On the other hand, Coral’s length caused her no end of personal consternation. It was hard to manage, and it symbolized something painful. She felt liberated by that haircut, and it shows. 🙂
Happy New Year, my friend!
That hairdresser sounds like an awesome person.
The cut is really, really flattering, too.
Deborah is a technical genius with amazing interpersonal skills. I adore her.
And I adore Coral’s new haircut. As you said, it’s very flattering. It was clear in an instant that Coral loves it, too. I’m really happy about that.
You brought tears to my eyes. How very brave.
Coral was so courageous, and I was so very proud. Honored, actually, to have watched her confidence blossom in that salon chair.
A powerful story, and a beautiful head of hair!!
I know beyond any shadow of doubt that Coral feels really good about having made this choice. And I’m equally confident that she loves her new haircut. YAY!! Thanks for stopping by to share our joy!
She looks beautiful.
I am glad that she was finally ready to let go of the pain and devastation from your shared past.It’s scary how cruel people can be – especially people who are supposed to represent a god of any sort.
*hugs*
She does, doesn’t she?? 🙂
I’m sad that she had to endure that initial pain, and that she carried it with her for so long. But I’m ecstatic that she finally laid that burden down. She looks lighter (in so many ways) for having done that.
*hugs you back*
She does look lighter! 🙂
Coral is beautiful. And so are you, friend.
I’m surrounded by beautiful people, you included. xo
“Powerful”–that’s perfect. I’m glad that’s how she feels. (She **looks** lovely)
A wise man once suggested that gift-giving blesses the giver and the recipient, both.
Yes
I was surprised to hear her say that, but extremly happy. It came from such a deep place….
YES!
What a perfect story — and yes, your sister’s new haircut frames her face beautifully!
It unfolded as it was meant to happen…the timing was hers, as was the (happy) ending.
AND…
She looks gorgeous!
What a wonderful smile Coral has on in the after picture. And it is a powerful one at that. You are a great sister to do that for her. I know she is aware of that. May your closeness grow even closer as the days pass.
Oh PapaDan, you should have seen her after her haircut…she walked around with a huge grin plastered across her face for the rest of the weekend! It’s easy to tell that she loves her new haircut–how it looks, and the way it makes her feel inside. That’s the part that really matters.
I’ve always wanted a sister, and this story reminds me why. Coral’s hair is beautiful.
Aw, Laurie, that’s such a kind thing to say! We can pretend to be sisters, if you’d like. 🙂
Not everyone needs to look the same
A dissenting opinion. Everyone’s so convinced that this was such a big Good Deed.
She looked better before. More individual.
Of course she’s going to put on the big act–everyone seems to, immediately post-makeover, because their endorphins are going as a result of all the encouragement and attention they’re getting. Naturally, if she’s all pumped up and happy now that you are thrilled about this, she will say she loves it. After all, there’s no way to put it back, so she’d better convince herself! She may be perfectly happy forever now that she is Normalized and No Longer A Weirdo With Long Hair. But I do wonder. . . .
Why was it such a big deal to YOU that SHE cut off her hair? Why is it that YOU felt invested in someone else’s hair? Why do all the other commenters approve so heartily? I have never understood women’s enthusiasm to get rid of other people’s hair. It’s a very strange impulse. It’s one I cannot fathom.
Sorry about this, but I think this kind of pro-cutting propaganda is nothing more than an open prejudice against people who prefer long hair. And I see it all too often, characterizing long hair as the sign of someone who is afraid or hiding or whatever. Remember, for thousands of years, women wore long hair, usually in updos, and that was not seen as wrong or weak or whatever. It has only been in the past hundred years or so that society has done the 180-degree turn and lauds short hair on women.
I tire of the constant meme that “cutting off your hair is always the proper thing to do, a beautifying act, and a great Sign of Transformation.” *sigh* If you want to look like everybody else, fine. More power to you all. But I think the constant media “makeover” franticness is rather ridiculous. A few days after these people get these makeovers, when all the special attention ends, they realize that they no longer look like themselves, but like someone else’s vision of how they should look. There is no longer anything special about them. They have been “normalized.” Choirs sing! Everyone cheers! Bleah.
And what happened to the wild craze for donating hair? They didn’t even send it to soak up oil slicks? It didn’t look damaged to me.
So chalk up another “normalized” and “fixed” person who went under the makeover. Hooray for conformity and sameness! Kudos for finally becoming just like everybody else!
Re: Not everyone needs to look the same
Dear Anonymous,
I honor Coral’s individuality in the same way I honor your right to your own opinion. She has a right to wear her hair however she likes. In offering her this gift, I was very open to the possibility that she’d say ‘no thank you.’ But she didn’t. She decided to do what she’d been promising herself for years. I didn’t force her into anything; I just facilitated her courageous decision. Perhaps in knowing this, you’ll be better able to appreciate the spirit in which I wrote this entry.
And as for your broader concerns about makeovers, you’ve offered up some legitimate points for our consideration. Thank you. But in truth, this wasn’t intended as a broadbased sociological treatise on women’s hairstyles/conformity. It’s just a little Christmas story, with illustrations, about two sisters who love each other very much. It’s about one of the many ways they found Love and Joy during the holidays.
Her curls are enviable, as is the huge smile that’s spread across her face even now. 🙂
I’m thinking we’ll both hold this Christmas memory close, this year and always.
Wonderful Gift!
I got misty-eyed reading it!
So now, without the weight of the hair – the curls are natural!??
Good for her – feeling powerful – she shed more than the hair =)
What a great witness you are for showing & sharing the power & a you are a wonderful sister.
thanks for sharing!
Re: Wonderful Gift!
Thanks for stopping by to share our Christmas joy. 🙂 Yes, those are her natural curls. Lucky girl, isn’t she?!? She’s really happy about the way they frame her face, and no wonder! She looks terrific.
Powerful, moving story. Your sister was beautiful with her cloak of hair, like Della in “The Gift of the Magi,” and beautiful–younger looking!–now.
What a good sister you are.
No doubt about it, she’s beautiful–with or without her long locks. But now that her hair’s been trimmed and layered, her lovely eyes are more visible, as are her enviable cheekbones. 🙂
Wow! Thanks for sharing this story. I’m happy she’s happy with her new look.
Thanks for reading it! I’m delighted that Coral’s enjoying her new look. We celebrated it–her–all of Christmas Eve. And yet — ho ho ho! — I showed her no mercy when we played jacks, a gift that Santa had tucked into her stocking. 😉