A Season of Love and Loss

So here it is, the end of the November, which is supposed to bring a monumental, positive shift for us Scorpios. I’m not seeing it, but really, I’ve not had a lot of time to look.

I haven’t yet addressed my holiday cards, but at least now I have them on hand. I browsed the shelves for a very long time, trying to find something with just the right message. In the past, we’ve picked out silly cards, suggestive of our SoCal lifestyle (Santa surfing on a longboard, garland-entwined saguaro, etc.); but just as often, we’ve chosen cards with spiritual symbolism. This year I chose one with a simple message: PEACE. That’s all I want for Christmas, for me and for our war-weary world. (For the record, what you see here isn’t my card; I just liked the way it looked.)

In the midst of this joyful season, sometimes there is sadness. That’s the case for me right now, as my very good friend and surrogate mother, Posy is dying. (You may have seen her in a couple of previous posts, here and here; the photo at left, I took just a couple of weeks ago.) It’s a peaceful, relatively painless transition for Posy, but even so, it’s surely going to be painful for the many, many people who love her, including me.

I wrote Posy a letter in which I tried to express how much she means to me, and I read it to her the night before last. We laughed together — a lot — but after a while, I couldn’t hold back my tears and neither could she. But when I I left, she was sleeping comfortably, my letter clutched to her heart.  How fortunate I am, to have been able to say most of what I needed and wanted to say while she was still lucid and communicative.

I’ve been helping her family by calling some of her many, many friends, each of whom wants to cry with me and share stories about time spent with our lovely friend. It’s bittersweet, as you might imagine, but it’s a small gift I’m privileged to give.  

My sympathies go out to my LJ friends who’ve recently lossed a loved one: I’m sending prayers of comfort to

[info]docstymie,

[info]thatgirlygirl

 and

[info]papadan

. 

Hold your family and friends close today. Share your love and work for peace. 

I’m listening to: Elvis Presley’s “Peace in the Valley“

82 Comments

  2. How lucky you were to be able to read that letter to your friend. I can’t imagine your situation, but just reading about it brought tears to my eyes. It sounds like you have been a true friend to Posy and her other friends.

  3. Posy

    How fortunate for both you and Posy that you were able to find one another. What a special moment that must have been as you laughed and shared the letter.

    I wrote my mom a poem about our childhood and read it to her before she passed away. It ran in our local paper the day of her funeral (coincidence). I was so glad I put my feelings down on paper and shared it with her.

    • Re: Posy

      We do feel it was a gift from the Universe, that we found each other and hit it off right away. What a blessing!

      I love knowing you were able to share your thoughts in writing with your mother, too. It’s a lasting tribute, isn’t it?

  4. Posy

    How fortunate for both you and Posy that you were able to find one another. What a special moment that must have been as you laughed and shared the letter.

    I wrote my mom a poem about our childhood and read it to her before she passed away. It ran in our local paper the day of her funeral (coincidence). I was so glad I put my feelings down on paper and shared it with her.

  5. Your post brought tears to my eyes — I don’t know why November seems to attract this type of sadness…my best friend lost her aunt (and surrogate mom) a few years ago right before Thanksgiving. My thoughts are with you!

  6. Your post brought tears to my eyes — I don’t know why November seems to attract this type of sadness…my best friend lost her aunt (and surrogate mom) a few years ago right before Thanksgiving. My thoughts are with you!

  9. Posy sounds like a wonderful woman. It’s lovely that you’ve had some special moments with her during this difficult time.

    I like the Christmas card idea that just says Peace. Simple. And a Christmas message that seems to have been lost somehow in all the holiday hoopla. I remember as a child going to church and each week the advent candles would be lit. For some reason I can’t remember what they all stood for, but I distinctly remember the one symbolizing peace.

    • Posy is a remarkable human being. I’ve never met anyone quite like her. Oh, and the advent candles…I need to look that up. Sometimes, rituals like that are comforting. I’m thinking this might be such an occasion…

    • Posy is a remarkable human being. I’ve never met anyone quite like her. Oh, and the advent candles…I need to look that up. Sometimes, rituals like that are comforting. I’m thinking this might be such an occasion…

  10. Posy sounds like a wonderful woman. It’s lovely that you’ve had some special moments with her during this difficult time.

    I like the Christmas card idea that just says Peace. Simple. And a Christmas message that seems to have been lost somehow in all the holiday hoopla. I remember as a child going to church and each week the advent candles would be lit. For some reason I can’t remember what they all stood for, but I distinctly remember the one symbolizing peace.

    • Well…I just got some potentially good news in my Inbox. I’ll share it with you in a minute.

      Thanks, in the meantime, for your blessings. I find comfort in my friends. 🙂

    • Well…I just got some potentially good news in my Inbox. I’ll share it with you in a minute.

      Thanks, in the meantime, for your blessings. I find comfort in my friends. 🙂

  12. Oh – I’m so sorry to hear that. She sounds like a wonderful friend, and I know you have been a wonderful friend to her. This must be such a bittersweet time for you. I’m sending you – and her – thoughts of healing and friendship.

    • That’s EXACTLY how I feel, Ronni!

      I owe you an email and I’m so sorry for not getting right back to you. I hope you understand why I haven’t yet written it.

  24. I’m so sorry to hear about Posy, dear. I hope her health hangs on as long as possible for you, and all of those that love her and are in her life!

  33. As long as you hold her in your heart Posy will never die. It’s wonderful that there are people like her on this earth. I’ve known a couple myself, and a coupl who have passed on. Their memory is an inspiration and an example to me.

    And may those November vibes keep vibrating well into December!

    • I will always hold Posy in my heart, and I’m so grateful for our many shared memories. Thanks for reminding me that she will, in fact, life forever in an important way… That’s wonderful to think about!

      As for the November vibes…I want them to keep humming for you, too!

    • I will always hold Posy in my heart, and I’m so grateful for our many shared memories. Thanks for reminding me that she will, in fact, life forever in an important way… That’s wonderful to think about!

      As for the November vibes…I want them to keep humming for you, too!

  34. As long as you hold her in your heart Posy will never die. It’s wonderful that there are people like her on this earth. I’ve known a couple myself, and a coupl who have passed on. Their memory is an inspiration and an example to me.

    And may those November vibes keep vibrating well into December!

  35. I’m so glad you got to share your heart with Posy! So often it seems that people precious to us die without warning. No matter what – you’ll mourn the loss of your dear friend, but it’s so much easier when you know that the things that you got to say and hear in return all that was really needful.

    Much love, many prayers, and lots of hugs headed toward SoCAL, for both of you.

    • You’re so right: I am lucky, indeed, to have been able to say what I wanted and needed to say while she is still alive. It means so much, now that she’s waning.

      I really appreciate the love, prayers, and hugs. I feel them coming my way, and they help so much. THANK YOU!

  36. I’m so glad you got to share your heart with Posy! So often it seems that people precious to us die without warning. No matter what – you’ll mourn the loss of your dear friend, but it’s so much easier when you know that the things that you got to say and hear in return all that was really needful.

    Much love, many prayers, and lots of hugs headed toward SoCAL, for both of you.

  37. Ah. I knew about Posy but I had forgotten that was her name. (How could I? Such a unique identity.) And how worried I am for you as you seem to be resigned to her passing. Posy seems to know what is happening as well. I will never know if this is a good or bad knowledge. I suppose it gives one time to close chapters but oh how I hate to end a good thing. I pray your darling Posy is not in pain, Melodye. Please hold her and love her and read with her. I would love to know how she became your surrogate mom. What a special lady she is. I pray she knows this. What is life worth if we don’t feel as if we’ve mattered? Clearly Posy has done her job in life. I’m so happy that you are there for HER, Melodye. While she has meant so much to YOU, I suspect the love you have given Posy has given her life a greater joy than we can even comprehend.

    I will keep you both in my prayers and ask G-d to watch over you. {}

    • Posy is resting very comfortably and peacefully. Hospice is taking very good care of her physical needs (which are few), and her family is there to ease the spiritual transition.

      In another post, at another time, I’ll answer the question about how Posy became my ‘mom.’ Ours is a special, irreplaceable, unusual bond — a real gift to us both.

      Thanks for your prayers, Pamela. They mean so much to me and I feel them. (HUGS). I appreciate your being here for me when I need you. 🙂

  38. Ah. I knew about Posy but I had forgotten that was her name. (How could I? Such a unique identity.) And how worried I am for you as you seem to be resigned to her passing. Posy seems to know what is happening as well. I will never know if this is a good or bad knowledge. I suppose it gives one time to close chapters but oh how I hate to end a good thing. I pray your darling Posy is not in pain, Melodye. Please hold her and love her and read with her. I would love to know how she became your surrogate mom. What a special lady she is. I pray she knows this. What is life worth if we don’t feel as if we’ve mattered? Clearly Posy has done her job in life. I’m so happy that you are there for HER, Melodye. While she has meant so much to YOU, I suspect the love you have given Posy has given her life a greater joy than we can even comprehend.

    I will keep you both in my prayers and ask G-d to watch over you. {}

  39. Your post brought me tears but it also filled my heart because of the bond you and Posy share. You have a rare and beautiful connection and I’m so glad you found each other. Sending good thoughts your way.

  40. Everyone who knows Posy basks in her warmth. I suspect you’d really love her energy, her spirit, her creative soul. Even though she’s much older, she’s one of us, for sure. Anyway, thank you for your good thoughts and hugs!

  41. Everyone who knows Posy basks in her warmth. I suspect you’d really love her energy, her spirit, her creative soul. Even though she’s much older, she’s one of us, for sure. Anyway, thank you for your good thoughts and hugs!

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