An afternoon with Anne Lamott

We spent Mother's Day afternoon with one of my favorite nonfiction authors, Anne Lamott. She was the featured guest at a “Food For Thought” event hosted by Westwood Presbyterian Church.

Ticket-holders sat shoulder-to-shoulder on long wooden pews, flanked by stone walls and arched doorways in the cathedral-style sanctuary. We’d dressed for the occasion in our Sunday-go-to-meetin’ clothes–which, translated loosely for SoCal residents, means anything on the fancier side of beachwear.

In walked Anne Lamott, instantly recognizable for her scarf-tied dreads. Her eyes twinkled when she smiled. “I tend to talk about myself a lot,” she began, with the barest hint of an apology. “I’ll share myself in a way that’ll make you feel comfortable… but not for long.”

Sunlight streamed through stain-glass windows. Heads nodded, and shoulders relaxed. We smiled back at her, as if to say: We’ve read your books; we’re ready…

Anne read a selection from her latest book, SOME ASSEMBLY REQUIRED: A Journal of my Son’s First Son, which was co-written with her son, Sam Lamott. It was disarming in its honesty, at once spiritual and irreverent…the inimitable writing style she’s known for. [Note: You can read the passage at this link, but if you’d rather watch a live performance, click here.]

Then she shared some loosely braided stories from her own life. She talked about dancing and sobriety, the writer’s life and faith. Each experience was a teacher, Anne said; the lessons, interchangeable. [See also: The miracle of “Me, too,” below.]

I’ve paraphrased much of what she said about writing, and I’ve also included a few Grace notes. Hope you enjoy these gems as much as we did!

ON WRITING:

You say you want to live a richer, deeper, childlike existence. Guess what? You get to do that!

Stop the train of unconscious living and mindless multi-tasking. Ask yourself: How alive am I willing to be?

Do what you’ve been putting off, what you’ve been dreading for so long. Be afraid of not finishing the work.

Silence your self-loathing. Transform it into a thing of beauty and service. Hook yourself to something bigger–that’s the path to world peace.

You can fill your mind with stuff: acre upon jumbled acre of rusty car parts, and/or alphabetized rows of planted vegetables. Or you can simply wade into the tide pools of Breath.

A good time to write is never, so begin at the next available time slot. How about 10:00 this evening?

Progress comes of rough feet and rage, of boredom and a butt gone numb because you’ve sat so long in your writing chair.

You need friends who’ll tell you, “I’m going to love this. It’s not perfect yet, but it will be.” And you also need that One True Friend–someone who’s willing to say, “This isn’t going to work,” even (especially) when all you want them to do is clap and pet you.

When you're writing from a place of consciousness and intention, your work becomes a source of light and truth–a remedy for despair and isolation. That’s the miracle of “Me, too.”

ON GRACE:

“I don’t understand the mystery of grace,” Anne said, “But absolutely all I need to know is that it’s an unmerited gift…the unexplained help that gets you out of extreme stuckness.”

Grace is the sliver of light that peeks through the redwoods. It’s a glass of cool water from the flow of the Beloved. It meets us where we are, and does not leave us where it found us.

Grace is fresh air that sneaks through the cracks of our imperfections. It’s WD-40, a solvent for things that grind against each other. And grace is water wings, made available to you at the very moment you feel yourself sinking.

Our afternoon with Anne Lamott was grace, personified. She met us where we were, and did not leave us where she found us.

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  1. Oh Melodye how amazing!! How **wonderful**!

    I’ve been really enjoying her twitterfeed since you showed me how to access it—I’ve loved some of her essays. I think it’s just so cool that you got to hear her speak and that you got a PHOTO with her.

    Thanks so, so much for sharing the quotes.

    A good time to write is never, so begin at the next available time slot. How about 10:00 this evening? OK–YES!

    and

    It’s a glass of cool water from the flow of the Beloved.

    • I’m so glad for the opportunity, and I feel fortunate that we can talk about it together. These sorts of experiences are best savored among friends, wouldn’t you agree? 🙂

      She pinged from one topic to the next, and truth be told, my pen couldn’t keep up with her thoughts. So here, a brief disclaimer: None of the quotes are exact. I hope their essence shines through, anyway.

      • These sorts of experiences are best savored among friends, wouldn’t you agree? 🙂

        I do agree! And the wonderful thing is, since reading your post, I’ve felt more personally connected with Anne Lamott as I read her Twitter feed–because I know someone who met her. Strengthened ties

    • Thanks for stopping by!

      It was a fabulous experience, truly. If & when the opportunity presents itself to you, my advice is that you jump over tall buildings to make it happen. 🙂

  3. Ohh, I needed this today. Thank you. I especially appreciated her thoughts on multitasking and this quote: “Do what you’ve been putting off, what you’ve been dreading for so long. Be afraid of not finishing the work.”

    • That resonated with me, too. Writing is an act of courage, on so many levels. I appreciate that Anne acknowledges that, and that she nudges us forward, anyway.

      On a related note, here’s another AL quotation:
      “If something inside of you is real, we will probably find it interesting, and it will probably be universal. So you …must risk placing real emotion at the center of your work. Write straight into the emotional center of things. Write toward vulnerability. Risk being unliked. Tell the truth as you understand it. If you’re a writer you have a moral obligation to do this. And it is a revolutionary act—truth is always subversive.”

      Don’t you just love that? 🙂

  4. You, my friend, are grace personified. I’m so glad to hear about a truly remarkable afternoon. Thanks so much for sharing this with us and what a great picture!!! 🙂 *HUGS*

  8. So much wisdom here. Thank you for all the quotes. Their essence shines through. I can’t imagine how awesome it would be to see Anne in person. What a gift you brought us by sharing what you witnessed!

    • She’s humble and self-deprecating, and she radiates a quiet joy. I think you would’ve enjoyed hearing her, Jama. And Cornelius would’ve liked the Oatmeal and chocolate cookies they set out on the bookseller’s table afterward. So cute: Anne kept encouraging us to eat them. (Very much in line with the part of her presentation where she talks about Jesus feeding the hungry–a spiritual act she tries to emulate, literally and figuratively.)

  9. I love thinking of you in the same room. That’s a lot of grace and wisdom in one place. Thank you for sharing with us — I, too, got a big charge out of the time to write is never.

    My sister had a chance to hear Anne speak a few years ago, and she also confirmed that what you see on the page is what you get, which is lovely. Here’s to continued inspiration!

    • It felt as if I’d shared the afternoon with an old friend–one whom I’d never met before, but with whom I’d shared lots of secrets. Lovely, in every way.

      Lots of take-aways for me in that presentation, but (and) also, she offered me some personal encouragement at the signing table. I’m savoring them again this morning, as I get prepared to write.

      xo

  10. What a lovely picture, Melodye! Thank you so much for sharing your afternoon w/Anne w/us! I drew quite a bit of wisdom & inspiration from your post! xo Julia

    • She’s a font of good advice–offered in humbleness, accepted in kind. I’m glad you drew inspiration from her words, as well, and that my paraphrasing didn’t get in the way of that. xoxo

  11. Grace is the sliver of light that peeks through the redwoods. It’s a glass of cool water from the flow of the Beloved. It meets us where we are, and does not leave us where it found us.

    beautiful.

  13. ♥❄♥ Love this picture! Looks like the two of you just finished having lunch while chatting about books. Gonna send this post to my local BFF, who I’ve been supporting in her life quest to start writing.

    • AL is a remarkable woman, in whose presence I felt very comfortable. She knows how to maintain personal boundaries, while also projecting authentic warmth.

      I think it’s awesome that you’re mentoring a fledgling writer. Such a generous gift you’re offering her; I hope (believe) it’ll come back to you tenfold. xoxo

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